Jangan Mager

All my grey has turned to red, splashed with vibrant tones over its muted colors. Things were pretty much expected until you showed up, a dope that popped out just right from all my favorite tropes, like a dazzling kaleidoscope. Your sudden arrival had answered half of my long list of question marks, making 'now' be my current favorite chapter. It's the chapter that makes everything before, worth the pain. I like the way you make me feel; it feels so real and tender. You make me realize that, sometimes  some stances are worth bothering with. "Loving him was red" is an understatement, because with you, it's crimson, vermilion, and all shades at once.

I spent countless midnight sobbings, hard arguments, and dozens kilometers of self-questioning walks to get to this point of sincere and genuine, to the point of pretty sure that I'll never get jealous over anything anymore. Is this the so called awakening phase?  Seeing so many posts and rants about how everything could've been if the start-lines were different or if the start-lines were the same for everyone. "I could've been that" or "I could've been this". IF ONLY. At that very moment, little did I realize about how people were built naturally. Everyone is focusing on what they're lacking of, but rarely take a look at what they've been given. "Being grateful is the key" seemed a naive way to say it. I'm not even grateful for what I'm lacking of. I'll never say thank you for a perfection that I'm not. However, I do accept everything I am with a bigger heart and a bigger head. Bigger heart for a retrenchment and bi...